Looking back, it has been been since October 2nd that I have been too busy to be on here. Was it avoidance? Was it lack of time? What caused this break in time. Lots of things. Mostly, it was lack of desire to write and the overwhelming need to write on the reading for the day that I didn't have time to complete.

So. Let's try something different. I'm not sure anyone actually reads this besides me and that is quite fine. It is my time to reflect, vent, ponder, open up and just be with my thoughts in a place that may or may not be seen by others. Some posts will be short, some long, and many are guaranteed to be random. Hopefully it is everyday, but it may not be. It will all play out in the end.

Trying to get back in to the idea of accountability for Spiritual Practices for school, the book Sacred Pauses by April Yamasaki is the book for this semester. It lays out different ways to take a moment throughout the day to be present and become renewed.

Thus far this semester, I have been trying to keep my head above water or at least not drown while I have slipped under the surface. Trying to keep up with all the reading, writing, classes, and social aspects of Seminary along with the demands of work and the joy found in family, it often overwhelming. I know that I have this through God who strengthens me.

My 3-year-old knows it is time for mommy to do school work and that she cannot interrupt me in the office. Is that a good thing? I miss her so much when I hear her running around playing and having fun with daddy or papa and I'm down in the office with the door closed trying to get things done. Last weekend, I asked my husband to take her to my in-laws so I could do school work and not feel guilty for not playing with her or giving the tubby or getting her dressed. Last night I took her to a finance meeting at church because I wanted to spend time with her if I wasn't stuck in a book or on the computer writing or in a meeting/class.

I need to find a balance, and this might just be the way. Maybe. It is worth a shot.

Back to the book. Chapter 1 states to find an ordinary object to use and when it is visible to take a moment and pray, reflect, or whatever but be reminded to just be and breathe. I need to find that object for me. I think I know what I want to use, but I need to find the box it is packed away in yet. I'll keep the blog updated. lol

Chapter 2 says to start journal or reflecting. I am going to try this as the journal aspect. It is not as private as a book, that I will probably misplace, or an online software, that costs money, but it is a place that if I don't promote it, maybe it will stay semi private and free. I can hope. And if someone is actually interested in this journey enough to read these random topics, venting, and reflection sections, maybe they will pray for me, the struggles I am having, or donate to the wish list I have on amazon for books that I cannot afford but need to purchase. Or send a cash donation to pay for daycare or many of the other needs.

Chapter 3 says to find silence. That is something that is both extremely difficult and easy as well. It is difficult because to find the time to just sit with my thoughts is often difficult. Previously, I would have music or the TV on in the background all the time. Now I find that the silence of just my thoughts and readings are needed. I never really paid attention to what was on the TV or radio while studying but not things have changed.

Chapter 4 asks us to look at scripture. That is the one aspect that I have struggled with for many, many years. It is something to focus on this year. The Bible is so daunting in the size and scope. Where to begin. I liked the ideas she proposes to look at topics, maybe chunk up the reading, other other options.

We will see how this all goes.

Blessings on the day
MS