This semester has been a gut check type of semester. Growing up, I was always so upset by racist jokes or sexist jokes. I was so proud that I looked beyond color while I was living in my very white area of the country. My doctor was from India, a friend in high school was from India, another friend was Korean, and I was open to meeting all kids of people. I'm not a racist.
In college I was confronted with different lifestyles and met face to face with multiple races. I was ok with anyone doing what they wanted, just don't flaunt it and we are all good.
While I was teaching, I made sure to not focus on any student and avoided direct confrontations. Students can be who they want to be, just don't upset the apple cart.
The community I live in, historically was mainline, status quo, white middle-class, keep to yourself and it is all good. Recently this has started to change. I didn't mind because I was open to any lifestyles, just don't upset the apple cart.
Then February started and the gut-checks started.
What exactly is racism. Who are us and who are them? Who are the marginalized? Why can they not better themselves? Why do I have to change in order for others to be OK. Why can't they just fit in?
Education. I thought seminary was going to be study of the bible, what are we supposed to tell others to believe, and this is how to perform the sacraments. I was wrong.
The first diversity training in February started to open my eyes to the possibility that I had this whole marginalized thing wrong. In reading I'm Still Here by Austin Channing Brown, my eyes were opened up to the amount of hurt caused by "not upsetting the apple cart". Maybe the apple cart does need to be upset. Reading and processing the perspective given through the reading, I realized that it is not just a city issue. It is happening in our own backyards. The racial divide is being perpetuated by our community by going in and have to "fix" another area. Why are the areas of Appalachia looked down upon? Why is the inner city of Detroit or Chicago viewed as less than? So often our youth groups and other charity groups go into these communities to fix them and then move on. Do they need to be fixed or do they need pathways for change?
Society needs to change. The white leadership needs to change the way it leads. But how? That seems to be the biggest quesiton. Do small things help in the big picture? Can I do something that will effect and affect change in our world?
One think I do know is that I have to work on me. How that looks, not positive yet. But I do that I have to work on my views of all those who do not inhabit my body. How I view men, children, races, orientations, identification, everything. It is all in an upheaval in my brain.
That is what education is for. I'm being formed over these 4 years and beyond. Formed to love all of God's creation.
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