March 15, St. Patrick's Day!
Day 1 of home schooling, day 6 of social distancing, and day 7 of too much information overload.
Blessings and prayers to all who are going this this experience of the COVID-19 together.
In the UP it is social isolation, in your homes, take-out is the only option for entertainment, unless you go the casino or one of the few local worship services in person. This also leave so many isolated in the nursing homes, hospitals, adult care facilities, senior housing, foster care facilities, group homes, and homeless.
During this time and in my seminary journey, I have a course that requires fieldwork. Getting out into the public to see how to bridge the gap between community and church or to be the church in community. Last semester was amazing. I worked at Trillium Hospice House and so excited to get back there to help out in so many ways. Hiccups in the procedures started and last Thursday we finally had everything ready to go, meeting Friday morning to plan out how to help in the next couple months. Then the sanctions from the state government started to roll out. School are going to close for 3 weeks. Mandatory visitor restrictions to all senior care facilities. Well, helping at Trillium was no longer an option for the immediate future. Where to go from there?
Well, one way is to keep this blog going. The experiences of a Yooper in Seminary and what does that look like in today's world. Not sure if the content and ramblings posted will change the focus. Hopes for this is as a place of reflection for things I have learned along the way. Ideas to help out parents with kids as we try this home schooling with a 3 year old and her 70 year old Papa while momma is in school during the day and getting homework done. Thoughts and ideas of being involved in churches but not in leadership roles that hold weight in decision making capacities. Reflections on the ideas of what it means to be a Lutheran church in today's socieity of a pandemic and the aftermath. Frustrations, celebrations, ideas, trials, victories...everything is one the table.
I also hope to form a prayer reflection page on Facebook as a place to start to gather those who are worried or concerned but don't have someplace to turn. Maybe it will work, maybe it will flop. As an introvert, the social media is a great platform. Not excited about videos but I'll even try my hand at some of those as well.
I'll admit that emotions and anxiety is high at this point. Anxious that if the numbers do not sore like they have around the world, people will think we overreacted and not heed warnings the next time we have any type of crisis. Concern that we are over reacting and this is just a media frenzy that we have taken seriously. Hopeful that the measure taken will result in all those who need health care will have it available when needed. Concerned that the markets are in free-fall and a recession/depression is on the horizon. Hopeful it passes quickly. Fearful that loss of life and the loss of a close loved one is inevitable.
Lord, we thank you for the sun shining outside that promises spring to come. Spring that brings new life and rebirth to nature and to our communities. In this time of trial and tribulation, when we are inundated with media, press conferences, new of positive test cases, fear of overwhelmed medical facilities, and confused on the right course to take, we turn to you and to your loving embrace. Holy Spirit, lead us through this time of trial and help us to focus on you and your saving grace. Be with, hold up, and renew all those on the front lines of this pandemic, the doctors, nurses, hospital staff, emergency services, government leaders, Church leaders, and all those struggling with fear and anxiety. Grant us all peace, through your Son, our risen Lord, Amen.
Tuesday, March 17, 2020
Sunday, March 8, 2020
Present Over Perfect (reflection)
Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist
Reflection from the readings and to use in class next week during the discussion.
Before the semester started, and I was ordering books, I read the titles and looked up the options for the independent reading assignemnt. This novel sounded like something I needed to read because I always feel the need to be perfect and I miss out on what is truly happening or the meaning of the situation because I want it just right. Homework, Christmas, Easter, Birthdays, the house, work, church, appearance, you name it, I want it to look like I have my sh*t together. I don't. lol
The description of her life seems to parallel mine at the moment, specifically 2020. It started last year when seminary started. I knew it was going to take a lot of my time, and family time away from us because of school work, but I didn't realize just how much. I tried to carve out time for C and Luke, but it didn't happen without consequences in my schoolwork not getting done. Giving myself permission to skip some items and ask for extensions was liberating. Then in 2020 I was gone for 3 week for J-Term in the Holy Land, home for 5 days and then off to prolog week for 6 more days, home for 1.5 days and then to green bay for C's eyes for 2 days and I was so far behind that the next three weeks were catch up. Family time was non-existant as I tried to help a new secretary at work, do my homework, catch up at my job (maybe even get ahead) and catch up with home stuff. It was go, go, go and then we were all sick. Ugh.
She made a conscious effort to change her running busy life to one of contemplation and silence. She learned to say "no" even though her career may suffer for the benefit of her family.
She boilded it down to Love. God's love, love for family, and love for herself. Self care became a priority. Less was more. Time was precious and spending time with her littles was a newfound blessings. She mentioned being envious of a friends life was what helped to have her slow down and make the changes she did. I found myself jealous of her and the fact she was able to step back.
She said you get to choose who you disappoint. "what you need along the way: a sense of God's deep, unconditional love, and a strong sense of your own purpose. Without those two, you'll have from people what is only God's to give, and you'll give up on your larger purpose in order to fulfill smaller purposes or other people's purposes" (pg. 53 on my kindle). choosing who to say no to is liberating yet difficult. However, if it is to say no to those things you seek that God can provide. God deserves the Yes while the others deserve the no.
Throughout the reading, I wondered if this was a book I was to take to heart or one to learn from for the future. I saw myself in Shauna's experiences, feelings, and writing. Seminary is tough work. Being a pastor is time consuming and could become all encompassing without boundaries and parameters put on expectations. The next three and a half years are going to be a struggle to juggle time with family, school needs, and work. I've already let go of many items. I need to let go of more.
If I took the lessons from this book to heart, I would stop seminary right now, find a full-time 9-5 job in an office and spend more time with family. However, I would not be fulfilled. This calling would not be fulfilled. So, I am going to take her ideas to heart. Work life so that I have more time for C and Luke and focus on me. School is a priority but not the top one and I"ll get it done. Right now C is spending much needed time with her Papa and her daddy. The men are learning to care for C without me and I am learning to let them care for her as well. C and I will have our morning time together. Our morning hug and kiss before she heads to her job, daycare and learning, while momma heads to hers of school and work. Maybe not so many extra classes on top of the required ones would help the load but the learning suffers. it is a juggling act that will turn out in the end.
I pray this is the plan.
Reflection from the readings and to use in class next week during the discussion.
Before the semester started, and I was ordering books, I read the titles and looked up the options for the independent reading assignemnt. This novel sounded like something I needed to read because I always feel the need to be perfect and I miss out on what is truly happening or the meaning of the situation because I want it just right. Homework, Christmas, Easter, Birthdays, the house, work, church, appearance, you name it, I want it to look like I have my sh*t together. I don't. lol
The description of her life seems to parallel mine at the moment, specifically 2020. It started last year when seminary started. I knew it was going to take a lot of my time, and family time away from us because of school work, but I didn't realize just how much. I tried to carve out time for C and Luke, but it didn't happen without consequences in my schoolwork not getting done. Giving myself permission to skip some items and ask for extensions was liberating. Then in 2020 I was gone for 3 week for J-Term in the Holy Land, home for 5 days and then off to prolog week for 6 more days, home for 1.5 days and then to green bay for C's eyes for 2 days and I was so far behind that the next three weeks were catch up. Family time was non-existant as I tried to help a new secretary at work, do my homework, catch up at my job (maybe even get ahead) and catch up with home stuff. It was go, go, go and then we were all sick. Ugh.
She made a conscious effort to change her running busy life to one of contemplation and silence. She learned to say "no" even though her career may suffer for the benefit of her family.
She boilded it down to Love. God's love, love for family, and love for herself. Self care became a priority. Less was more. Time was precious and spending time with her littles was a newfound blessings. She mentioned being envious of a friends life was what helped to have her slow down and make the changes she did. I found myself jealous of her and the fact she was able to step back.
She said you get to choose who you disappoint. "what you need along the way: a sense of God's deep, unconditional love, and a strong sense of your own purpose. Without those two, you'll have from people what is only God's to give, and you'll give up on your larger purpose in order to fulfill smaller purposes or other people's purposes" (pg. 53 on my kindle). choosing who to say no to is liberating yet difficult. However, if it is to say no to those things you seek that God can provide. God deserves the Yes while the others deserve the no.
Throughout the reading, I wondered if this was a book I was to take to heart or one to learn from for the future. I saw myself in Shauna's experiences, feelings, and writing. Seminary is tough work. Being a pastor is time consuming and could become all encompassing without boundaries and parameters put on expectations. The next three and a half years are going to be a struggle to juggle time with family, school needs, and work. I've already let go of many items. I need to let go of more.
If I took the lessons from this book to heart, I would stop seminary right now, find a full-time 9-5 job in an office and spend more time with family. However, I would not be fulfilled. This calling would not be fulfilled. So, I am going to take her ideas to heart. Work life so that I have more time for C and Luke and focus on me. School is a priority but not the top one and I"ll get it done. Right now C is spending much needed time with her Papa and her daddy. The men are learning to care for C without me and I am learning to let them care for her as well. C and I will have our morning time together. Our morning hug and kiss before she heads to her job, daycare and learning, while momma heads to hers of school and work. Maybe not so many extra classes on top of the required ones would help the load but the learning suffers. it is a juggling act that will turn out in the end.
I pray this is the plan.
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