For a class we had to write about "isms" in our life. Prior to this journey, I thought I had dealt with the "isms" in my views and perceptions.
I was wrong.
One area we are focusing on is racism. Systemic racism within communities and the Church. In my fieldwork class, we read a portion of a novel from Ta-Nehisi Coates' book "Between The World and Me". I was curious about the excerpt because I didn't understand the references to "body" and other ideas. I decided to do a search for more information and found many, many YouTube videos of his interviews for his books and found on this this book. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xRq4wx5wnE) My eyes were opened about a different way to think about this as it seems so overwhelming to change an entire denomination's outlook on inclusion in my ministry. Mr. Coates explains around minute 47 of the video the longstanding fight of the African American people from slavery and beyond. Paraphrased he said that it was exceedingly rare to see real change in one lifetime. He referenced slavery being 250 years in our country and those who fought against in during the middle years around 1750 would have had 3-4 generations behind them a slaves and 3-4 generations before them as slaves, yet they fought. He also said that your vision is impoverished if you thinking you will see it (whatever you are fighting for) to be realized in your lifetime. Wow. I have felt so guilty lately for not being able to see how this change could happen right now in my little home congregation. I feel a bit of relief or grace to hear that I can work for equality and working for inclusion of all "isms" in the Church yet it is okay if it does not happen totally in my tenure as a pastor. But I have to fight. I have to work on my and the places I minister to work toward inclusion of all God's family to be included and loved.
This will be a long road. For myself, I have many preconceived notions and learned behaviors and thoughts to move beyond. I have much learning to do. I have much to pray about and discern. There is a lot of work to do in our congregaitons through God's love and to be open to loving all.
It will not be easy, but I will work toward a more inclusive world, church, home, and life.
Sunday, April 19, 2020
Saturday, April 18, 2020
Scapegoats during the Pandemic
Anxiety is high in the US and around the world. Anxiety is higher than normal in Michigan this since the stay-at-home orders have come down form the governor. This is like a cover on a boiling pot. It can either explode or simmer down depending on the heat that is thrown on the fire. Who throws that heat onto the fire is each person. We stoke our fires.
"I'm not anxious" is a statement I hear a lot or "I don't have anxiety". Unfortunately, mental health issues are seen as a weakness and those who need the help, especially now, are not finding the help.
Our society has become a society that places blame everywhere in order to survive. I know that I place blame on others for little things that I cannot control. My daughter doesn't sleep though the night. Other's don't follow deadlines. The police are too picky with speed limit overage. The stores charge too much for pop. It is easy to place blame when it is something I cannot control or I don't want to control. Could I work on a sleep pattern with my daughter, yes. Could I ignore her cries at night, yes. Could I follow the speed limits on the roadways, yes. Could I set up boundary lines that I don't work around to please everyone, yes. Are there things I could do that I choose to blame others for, yes.
I think we all do.
Do I blame the governor for taking away my rights? I could say yes and call there all these names. I could say she is doing it for the good of the state. I could go off blaming democrats for this or the republicans for that. I could go off and blame those still going to store, to parks, and protesting or I could look at myself and what I am doing.
I/We, in my household, have chosen to abide by the stay-at-home as much as possible. However, we have not been strict about it. We have chosen to support local establishments that are still open for meals out, chains and local. I have run to the local grocery stores and gone inside as well as opted for pick up from a big box store. I carry hand sanitizer in the car and use it as well as wear my mask at the store and when we go in to pick up food. My husband is still working and he is taking precautions when he comes home. We are not visiting family that does not live with us. We take walks around the block and converse with neighbors, from a safe distance. We also go for drives when being in the house is just too much to handle anymore. We are blessed with the options we have during this time. We worship from home with our current pastor and a former one. I would say more "church" happens in this home since the pandemic hit than before.
Social media is a soul sucking medium that I allow into my life. Often I have to distance from it in order to get things done. You can find out what is happening in almost every state just by looking at the video feature on Facebook. One can also find worship services from all over the world, reflections from pastors, seminarians and others. One can find the conspiracy theories, commentaries, reruns of news feeds and late night monologues, and individual rants and raves. Groups to support your thoughts and beliefs abound. Even Facebook has joined the bandwagon to intercede with warnings for false information about the virus and other videos shared online.
I am overwhelmed by the number of forwarded videos and posts I have received in the last month. (Just an FYI 99.9% of what is sent to me dies a lonely death in my inbox if it is not a personal message.) I have blocked certain websites and posting parties, stopped following a few sites, and wish I could figure out how to block a few people from seeing the posts I put on Facebook (haha).
This week has come to a apex (I hope) in people's tolerance or intolerance for others. Finding a scapegoat is the way many cope. In an article written by Rev. Dr. Craig Nessan, he references Rene Girard who states that "scapegoating" is often done in times of high anxiety. Those who commit the scapegoating "genuinely believe their course of action to be justified" (Nessen, 396) and that is ringing true in our pandemic situation here. Some Michiganders, and others around the US, are blaming the governor and calling her everything from a tyrant to Hitler for the newest stay-at-home order because they are upset they cannot use motorboats or buy flowers and seeds at big box stores over 50,000 square feet. Thousands traveled to the state capital, some drove over 300 miles, and caused "gridlock" in the capital. The original idea was to stay in your car, drive slow, social distance, and be respectful to the medical community. The idea, though intentions were positive, did not come to fruition as people gathered on the lawn, didn't use protective gear, and mingled within six feet of each other. Even police were seen without the protective gear. Reports of medical workers and ambulances not being able to get to the local hospital were reported and it is a level 1 trauma hospital from what I read.
How have we come to this point in our society? A rhetorical question because the answer is too disheartening to want to know for sure. Why do we allow ourselves to look at what is good for use compared to the good of society.
I am trying to take the governor and her colleagues at their word that this is all for the good of the people and the restrictions will be lifted and all the "freedomes" will come back when things settle down. Will that be in two weeks, a month, a year, or longer. Do I even want things to go back to "normal"? What is normal? Should it go back to normal?
Some things I would like to come out of this situation?
1. Seeing smiles from others again.
2. Visiting family and human contact with loved ones.
3. Keep spending time as a family unit, eating together.
4. Worshiping in person with others in a physical place and visiting other congregations.
5. Not running the rat race of activities, meetings, work, and "life".
6. Going out to eat and a movie
I pray that we all survive this time of high anxiety and fear. I pray that we can come together as a human family and unite behind those who are vulnearable. I pray we will all give each other some grace to just be.
Thank you to all who are working to be contientious of our fellow humans. Thank you to all those who are on the front lines and don't have the option to not work and not stay home. Thank you to all who are looking out for their fellow humans even if others are not looking out for themselves.
Thank you all!
Blessings
Melissa
"I'm not anxious" is a statement I hear a lot or "I don't have anxiety". Unfortunately, mental health issues are seen as a weakness and those who need the help, especially now, are not finding the help.
Our society has become a society that places blame everywhere in order to survive. I know that I place blame on others for little things that I cannot control. My daughter doesn't sleep though the night. Other's don't follow deadlines. The police are too picky with speed limit overage. The stores charge too much for pop. It is easy to place blame when it is something I cannot control or I don't want to control. Could I work on a sleep pattern with my daughter, yes. Could I ignore her cries at night, yes. Could I follow the speed limits on the roadways, yes. Could I set up boundary lines that I don't work around to please everyone, yes. Are there things I could do that I choose to blame others for, yes.
I think we all do.
Do I blame the governor for taking away my rights? I could say yes and call there all these names. I could say she is doing it for the good of the state. I could go off blaming democrats for this or the republicans for that. I could go off and blame those still going to store, to parks, and protesting or I could look at myself and what I am doing.
I/We, in my household, have chosen to abide by the stay-at-home as much as possible. However, we have not been strict about it. We have chosen to support local establishments that are still open for meals out, chains and local. I have run to the local grocery stores and gone inside as well as opted for pick up from a big box store. I carry hand sanitizer in the car and use it as well as wear my mask at the store and when we go in to pick up food. My husband is still working and he is taking precautions when he comes home. We are not visiting family that does not live with us. We take walks around the block and converse with neighbors, from a safe distance. We also go for drives when being in the house is just too much to handle anymore. We are blessed with the options we have during this time. We worship from home with our current pastor and a former one. I would say more "church" happens in this home since the pandemic hit than before.
Social media is a soul sucking medium that I allow into my life. Often I have to distance from it in order to get things done. You can find out what is happening in almost every state just by looking at the video feature on Facebook. One can also find worship services from all over the world, reflections from pastors, seminarians and others. One can find the conspiracy theories, commentaries, reruns of news feeds and late night monologues, and individual rants and raves. Groups to support your thoughts and beliefs abound. Even Facebook has joined the bandwagon to intercede with warnings for false information about the virus and other videos shared online.
I am overwhelmed by the number of forwarded videos and posts I have received in the last month. (Just an FYI 99.9% of what is sent to me dies a lonely death in my inbox if it is not a personal message.) I have blocked certain websites and posting parties, stopped following a few sites, and wish I could figure out how to block a few people from seeing the posts I put on Facebook (haha).
This week has come to a apex (I hope) in people's tolerance or intolerance for others. Finding a scapegoat is the way many cope. In an article written by Rev. Dr. Craig Nessan, he references Rene Girard who states that "scapegoating" is often done in times of high anxiety. Those who commit the scapegoating "genuinely believe their course of action to be justified" (Nessen, 396) and that is ringing true in our pandemic situation here. Some Michiganders, and others around the US, are blaming the governor and calling her everything from a tyrant to Hitler for the newest stay-at-home order because they are upset they cannot use motorboats or buy flowers and seeds at big box stores over 50,000 square feet. Thousands traveled to the state capital, some drove over 300 miles, and caused "gridlock" in the capital. The original idea was to stay in your car, drive slow, social distance, and be respectful to the medical community. The idea, though intentions were positive, did not come to fruition as people gathered on the lawn, didn't use protective gear, and mingled within six feet of each other. Even police were seen without the protective gear. Reports of medical workers and ambulances not being able to get to the local hospital were reported and it is a level 1 trauma hospital from what I read.
How have we come to this point in our society? A rhetorical question because the answer is too disheartening to want to know for sure. Why do we allow ourselves to look at what is good for use compared to the good of society.
I am trying to take the governor and her colleagues at their word that this is all for the good of the people and the restrictions will be lifted and all the "freedomes" will come back when things settle down. Will that be in two weeks, a month, a year, or longer. Do I even want things to go back to "normal"? What is normal? Should it go back to normal?
Some things I would like to come out of this situation?
1. Seeing smiles from others again.
2. Visiting family and human contact with loved ones.
3. Keep spending time as a family unit, eating together.
4. Worshiping in person with others in a physical place and visiting other congregations.
5. Not running the rat race of activities, meetings, work, and "life".
6. Going out to eat and a movie
I pray that we all survive this time of high anxiety and fear. I pray that we can come together as a human family and unite behind those who are vulnearable. I pray we will all give each other some grace to just be.
Thank you to all who are working to be contientious of our fellow humans. Thank you to all those who are on the front lines and don't have the option to not work and not stay home. Thank you to all who are looking out for their fellow humans even if others are not looking out for themselves.
Thank you all!
Blessings
Melissa
Friday, April 17, 2020
Congratulations and Condolances to the Class of 2020
Dear Class of 2020
Congratulation on all the accomplishments over the past 18 years. Your young lives have experienced so much that you are/were not able to comprehend. You were born into the aftermath of a national tragedy. You grew up only knowing foreign wars and an undercurrent of dislike or hatred for others based on nationality or religion. Your parents rejoiced and cried a bit on your first day of preschool, kindergarten and each year since. You survived elementary school and learning to tie your shoes and slip on your winter clothes to be at the front of the line to get the best swing or your group could get the best part of the sledding hill. You learned "new" math and have survived algebra and, for some, calculus. Graphic organizers have been mastered and, hopefully, retained to help you when you have to write in the future. Science class prepared you to cultivate your gardens and create, experiment, and test your hypothesis for fixing the furnace (or anything you run into) on your own later in life. You survived middle school, hopefully unharmed, and survived the first 3.5 years of high school. Some completed sports seasons, some tried out. Some mastered the arts in theater and muisc while others focused on social justice issues or were socially awkward. Congratulations. You made it to your senior year. You are on your way to life after high school. Congratulations.
Condolances on all you will miss during the last few months of your senior year. These are huge in your life. Things that only happen during your senior year. I/We acknowledge you are missing out on so many things. Nothing adults can say will ease this pain. It is real to you and that is the most important. It only makes us feel better to "justify" the losses.
In this time, grieve for what you have missed. Take the time to be angry, scream, cry out, cuss, do what you need to do. Take time to pray. Pray for healing, for acceptance, and for opportunities to emerge from this time of disappointment.
I/We grieve with you. It doesn't matter what other generations have gone though. This is YOUR reality. YOUR time of trial. YOUR losses. YOUR disappointments. YOUR life. Allow yourself time to grieve. Allow yourself time to heal.
Look forward to the summer and fall. What is next on your list of accomplishments. Do you plan to start college? Did you have a job lined up? Are you applying at the work bank for a job? Did you have a job you will return to? Could you start your own business and/or do something you love?
The world is open to any and all possibilities for you. Your class, the Class of 2020 is strong, resiliant, and will overcome this time of trial to be triumphant and show this world that missing a graduation ceremony is nothing compared to all the great things this class, YOU, will achieve.
Blessings to each and every member of the Class of 2020.
Congratulation on all the accomplishments over the past 18 years. Your young lives have experienced so much that you are/were not able to comprehend. You were born into the aftermath of a national tragedy. You grew up only knowing foreign wars and an undercurrent of dislike or hatred for others based on nationality or religion. Your parents rejoiced and cried a bit on your first day of preschool, kindergarten and each year since. You survived elementary school and learning to tie your shoes and slip on your winter clothes to be at the front of the line to get the best swing or your group could get the best part of the sledding hill. You learned "new" math and have survived algebra and, for some, calculus. Graphic organizers have been mastered and, hopefully, retained to help you when you have to write in the future. Science class prepared you to cultivate your gardens and create, experiment, and test your hypothesis for fixing the furnace (or anything you run into) on your own later in life. You survived middle school, hopefully unharmed, and survived the first 3.5 years of high school. Some completed sports seasons, some tried out. Some mastered the arts in theater and muisc while others focused on social justice issues or were socially awkward. Congratulations. You made it to your senior year. You are on your way to life after high school. Congratulations.
Condolances on all you will miss during the last few months of your senior year. These are huge in your life. Things that only happen during your senior year. I/We acknowledge you are missing out on so many things. Nothing adults can say will ease this pain. It is real to you and that is the most important. It only makes us feel better to "justify" the losses.
In this time, grieve for what you have missed. Take the time to be angry, scream, cry out, cuss, do what you need to do. Take time to pray. Pray for healing, for acceptance, and for opportunities to emerge from this time of disappointment.
I/We grieve with you. It doesn't matter what other generations have gone though. This is YOUR reality. YOUR time of trial. YOUR losses. YOUR disappointments. YOUR life. Allow yourself time to grieve. Allow yourself time to heal.
Look forward to the summer and fall. What is next on your list of accomplishments. Do you plan to start college? Did you have a job lined up? Are you applying at the work bank for a job? Did you have a job you will return to? Could you start your own business and/or do something you love?
The world is open to any and all possibilities for you. Your class, the Class of 2020 is strong, resiliant, and will overcome this time of trial to be triumphant and show this world that missing a graduation ceremony is nothing compared to all the great things this class, YOU, will achieve.
Blessings to each and every member of the Class of 2020.
Thursday, April 16, 2020
How has cyberbullying personally affected you?
(From a scholarship application)
How has cyberbullying personally affected you?
Free speech and social media combine
to create a culture where humans believe is it acceptable to speak all thoughts
that come to mind without consideration for others. Unfortunately, cyberbullying
is not confined to school age humans. Bullying has occurred throughout the ages
for all age groups. However, with the popularity and accessibility of social media,
it occurs more frequently and is more vicious.
As someone who has experienced bullying throughout life, social
media brings history into the present. Humans hide behind screens to attack
others, particularly strangers. On a post for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, my
House of Representatives representative wrote about equality for all, to “recommit
to his legacy of compassion, love, and service,”[1] to help everyone, and to promote minorities. My comment
asked him to “remember all those oppressed in the US and around the world and
those without basic human rights.”[2] It continued to ask him to look at the Israel/Palestine
situation. One comment was on “my hate” that came through in this post. Additional
attacks came from strangers with many assumptions. Granted, nothing in this
post threatened my life, my wellbeing, or my family. I know many on social media
experience death threats and are put down or humiliated. This is one little way
that many people assume things about others because of a belief that is
expressed.
In these days of the pandemic for COVID-19, the worst
sides of people are shown all the ways. Often these are tied to politics. The
democratic Governor Whitmer of Michigan has been called a Nazi, dictator, and
vulgar feminine terms because of the stay-home stay-safe orders enacted under
her constitutional rights during the emergency declaration. Some of these comments
are done by other representatives and leaders. If this can be done, then what
does that teach other humans, especially the teenage ones who are watching and
old enough to remember what is happening as they grown into adults.
The change is systemic just as the idea of bullying is
systemic. Humans, for the most part, continue the attitudes and carry on the
values learned in the home. There are times when change occurs though the “black
sheep” in the family that turns either for the better or the worse. Changing
the bullying is difficult. Yes, it has been around since the beginning of time.
There has always been a power struggle; however, through examples of love,
compassion, positive expressions, and tolerance will slowly change the lives of
other humans. Leadership and those in power need to be the be the beacon of
hope. Someone who can overcome the negative, hatred, nasty comments, and
address those with love, compassion, positive expressions and tolerance. I will
emulate those examples in my life and work toward a more accepting world.
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